Whose Line is it Anyway? Saiyuki Style!
by Ivan-Lover69
Summary: Another Whose Line is it Anyway Parody from me! Enjoy! Rated M for language and yaoi implications. PLease R
1. Introductions are Made

Alright. I haven't put anything up here for a while so I fugured I'd put this up. I thought it up in math class. It's based off another fiction I did, that one involving Invader ZIM. I'm gonna try to put in as many characters from this Anime/Manga as I can. I want lots of feed back on this. **FEED BACK! NOT FLAMES!** There will be a little bit of implication of yaoi, so beware of that... Uh... Lots of swearing. And I might actually put commercials in this fic. Depends how much time I got. So enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Saiyuki characters. They belong to Kayuza Minekura. But if I did own them... OH THE YAOI THERE WOULD BE!

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:camera skims across audience to The-Death-Bringer-Of-Hell and then to the Saiyuki cast at the front:

The-Death-Bringer-Of-Hell: Hello! And welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway? Today's contestants are: "Kill them. Kill them now." Genjyo Sanzo! "Gimme another meatbun!" Son Goku! "She was also my older sister." Cho Hakkai! And "The only swimming I do is in bed." Sha Gojyo! And I'm The-Death-Bringer-Of-Hell (Itsuji for short)! Come on down and let's have some fun:sits down at desk and drinks hot chocolate: I'm filling in for Drew Carey, in case you're wondering.

Goku: YEAH! He's out buyin' lunch without me, that bastard!

Itsuji: Yeah... Ummm... Welcome to Whose line is it Anyway? The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right. They're just like Sanzo being a monk. It just doesn't matter.

Sanzo: Shut up.

Itsuji: Whatever. We're going to start the night off with "Questions Only"! These guys can only ask questions to each other, starting with Sanzo and Hakkai. When I sound my buzzer, they'll switch with their team mate and so on. Now I need a topic from the audience about an unlikely trip someone is going to make.

Dr. Nii in the audience: A Journey West!

Itsuji: Oh, ha. Fine. Questions only about a Journey to the west. Take it away whenever you're ready.

Sanzo: Hakkai, have you packed the bags?

Hakkai: Would you believe me if I said I didn't?

Sanzo: Would you believe me if I told you I regret nothing before going on this trip?

Hakkai: What if I said no?

Sanzo: Then... Ah, damnit...

Itsuji: BUZZZZ!!!

Goku: Hay, Hakkai! Did you bring lots of food?

Hakkai: No, but would you like to see my dragon?

Goku: Is that something I can eat?

Hakkai: Well, ano... :walks off chuckling:

Itsuji: BUZZZZ!!!

Gojyo: Hey, Monkey. What did you learn today?

Goku: Don't call me monkey, you stupid Kappa...?

Itsuji: BUZZ!!!

Sanzo: What are you doing, you idiot?

Gojyo: Would you believe me if I said I coudn't help looking at those beautiful eyes of yours?

Itsuji: BUZZ BUZZ BUZZZ! That's enough. Gotta keep this clean. 1000 bullets for Sanzo for quoting some dead guy. 1000 meatbuns for Goku for being so damn cute. 1001 points for Hakkai for mentioning Hakuryuu. And 10,000 points to Gojyo for last night.

Gojyo: Thanks, Babe. :winks at Itsuji:

Itsuji:swoon: Ok! Next we're gonna play everbody's favorite game to get it out of the way: Irish Drinking Song! You guys know how this works. The game Irish Drinking Song is performed by each character sings one of four stanzas in the style of: Aand Irish Drinking Song! Laura Hall couldn't be here tonight so we have Kannon to play for us. Scarey, isn't it?

Kannon: Why am I here?

Hakkai: Because Itsuji has blackmail of you and--:Kannon's hand gets slapped over his mouth:

Kannon: Alright, alright. Jeez...

Itsuji: Ok... Anyway, we need a suggestion from the audience about... anything... Hey, I don't write it. I just read it.

Lirin in Audience: KICKING BADDY ASS!

Itsuji: Alright, they'll be singing the "Kicking Baddy Ass Hoe down" Start whenever you're ready.

All: Ohhhhhh, ai-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

Sanzo: Once there was a baddy.

Goku: He loved to pick on children.

Hakkai: He once lived inside a hut.

Gojyo: Instead of on a mountain.

Sanzo: He said he like horror-movies.

Goku: He said he liked to spin.

Hakkai: He said he beat small children up.

Gojyo: He said his name was Jien!

All: Ohhhhhh, ai-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

Goku: Now Jien met up with heros.

Hakkai: They were four of a kind.

Gojyo: Never scared were they.

Sanzo: They'd unwillingly help who'd they find.

Goku: One was always hungry.

Hakkai: One was smart and fun!

Gojyo: One was really sexy.

Sanzo: The last would shoot you with his gun!

All: Ohhhhhh, ai-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

Hakkai: They challenged Jien-san to a fight.

Gojyo: He accepted with such glee.

Sanzo: The four took on a fighter's stance.

Goku: The hungry one said "Whee."

Hakkai: Jien drew out a silver sword.

Gojyo: He jumped into the air.

Sanzo: The kicked his sorry-baddy-ass.

Goku: Then he was eaten by a bear!

All: Ohhhhhh, ai-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di! Ohhhhhh, ai-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di! Dee! Di! Dee! Di!!!

Itsuji: BUZZ BUZZ BUZZZZZZZ!! We'll be right back with more Whose Line is it Anyway? Right after this, so don't go away!

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So how'd you like that? Pretty good, huh? I actually had no script for this one before hand like I did my other one. So basically, this fic is improv. just like the show! How ironic! I wrote the song. The Hoe Down song was, infact, written by me. On the spot. So I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. PLEASE! FOR GOD'S SAKE! R&R! You could save a life! 


	2. OMG! Commercials?

Alright. Chapter 2! COMMERCIALS! The first one is meant to make you laugh. The second one is supposed to make you think. And for the record, these are **_parody_** commercials! They are **_not_** something you should live by! Get somes lives!

Disclaimer: The Saiyuki characters belong to Kayuza Minekura. If they belonged to me...OH THE YAOI THERE WOULD BE!

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Commercial Break

Hakkai: Hello, friends. Tired of living? Has traveling on the road with the same companions day after day in a jeep got you down?

Sanzo: Then try Sanzo's Patented Smith & Wesson Co. Gun and Bullets Set! The pain of everyday life will slowly vanish when you have one of my bullets in your skull. Just ask this young man. :points to a dead and head-bleeding Goku on the floor: He tried our product and has been peaceful ever since!

Gojyo: Side effects may include weight loss, hair loss, head-blood leakage, and not living anymore.

Sanzo: Please take if you are pregnant or may become pregnant. Please see a serial killer or a homicidal maniac if living persists.

Hakkai: If you order our product now, you will receive a blessing from this Sanzo priest! But you must call within the next 6 seconds to do so! Our products are flying off the shelves!

Gojyo: And remember:

All: You don't have to live to be peaceful!

* * *

Gojyo: Hi. My name is Gojyo. When I was young, my mother was a child abuser. She hated me for my existence.

Hakkai: Hello. My name is Hakkai. When I was three, I was seperated from my older-twin sister and put into an orphanage at age five where everyone hated me because I was smart. Twelve years later, I killed 1000 youkai and watched my sister kill herself.

Goku: Hey. My name is Goku. When I was twelve, I was imprisoned for crimes I committed. I was all alone for 500 years, with only a small bird to keep me company.

Sanzo: My name is Sanzo. When I was born, I was thrown into a river to die. I was found by a Sanzo priest, but all the other monks hated me.

Gojyo: I watched as she tried to kill me. I watched as my brother killed her then ran away.

Hakkai: I was so depressed. I tried to kill myself. I stabbed myself and let my inards and myself fall to the ground.

Goku: Then, one day I woke up and my bird friend was dead. I reached through the rock bars of my cage but there it lay; just out of my reach.

Sanzo: One night, I was called to my master's room to receive my title. Then he was slaughtered as he shielded my body with his own.

All: No child should have to go through this. You can help. If you witness:

Gojyo: Child abuse,

Hakkai: Unreasonable hatred,

Goku: Loss of loved ones,

Sanzo: Or mental terror,

All: Call the number below to help put an end to all of this. One person can make a difference,

Kannon: Imagine what everyone could do.

* * *

OK, I lied. There is no number to call. If you really want to call a number dial: 1-800-I-JUST-READ-A-FAN-FICTION-THAT-TOLD-ME-TO-CALL-A-NUMBER-SO-I-AM-GOING-TO-DO-IT-BECAUSE-THIS-AUTHOR-IS-MY-MIGHTY-LORD-AND-MASTER. I'll make sure to take your call. Please R&R! It could save a life! 


	3. I Can't Think of a Title Sorry

Alright! I think it's been about a year since I updated! I want to give Warrior Nun a big old thanks for giving me a swift kick in the ass and giving me the iniciative to actually get working on this story! ARIGATO GOZAIMASU! So, what you've all been waiting for! THE NEXT CHAPTER!

* * *

**Itsuji-** Hello and welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway? The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter! That's right. They're just like me at school: They just don't matter.

**Audience-** Awww…

**Hakkai-** That's OK. We in internet land love you!

**Itsuji-** Really?!

**Sanzo-** No.

**Itsuji-** Yeah, thanks for that.

**Sanzo-** You're welcome.

**Itsuji-** ANYway… Hey, you at home… You know that person who calls you late at night and all you hear is heavy breathing and then they hang up? That's me!

**Audience-** LAWL

**Sanzo-** Moving ON!

**Itsuji-** Right, sorry. Now we're going to play a game called the Millionaire Game! Usually the producers give us what we're supposed to do, but all they said was to be creative. So, I'm gonna take suggestions from the audience: What kind of show, guys?

**K-chan in the audience-** YAOI-HAREM!

**Itsuji-** Yaoi Harem it is.

**Sanzo-** Do you want to die!?

**Itsuji-** Whatever. OK! Gojyo is the host, so that makes him the king or Sultan or whatever… Hakkai! You are the contestant, so I guess you're his main-squeeze. Sanzo! You're the life-line in the audience, so I guess you're the secondary squeeze or something… And Goku! You're the life-line on the phone, so TAKE IT AWAY WHENEVER YOU'RE READY!

**Gojyo-** Welcome back, one and all, to Who Wants to be a Millionaire! Hakkai here is down to his last three questions, but I'm pretty sure his winnings won't just be the money. :rubs Hakkai's thigh:

**Hakkai-** Oh, Sultan…

**Gojyo-** And now, for $250,000: What is the name of the youkai the Sanzo-ikkou is trying to prevent the revival of? Is it

A: Gojyo-sama

B: Gyumoah

C: Peanut-butter or

D: Hyakugenmaoh?

**Hakkai-** Well… It couldn't be peanut butter… I had that for lunch! I killed Hyakugenmaoh, so definitely not him. Gojyo-sama had his fun with me last night so he's out. I'd have to say Gyumaoh!

**Gojyo-** And you'd have to be right!

**Hakkai-** YAY!

**Gojyo-** Next question, for $500,000: Which doesn't belong? Is it

A: Monkey

B: Kappa

C: Monk or

D: S'mores

**Hakkai-** Oh, that's too hard for me, Gojyo-sama! I'll have to use a life-line! I'd like to talk to my older brother Sanzo in the audience!

**Sanzo-** :stands in a very sexy pose with his robes hanging off his hips in audience:

**Fangirls-** :FAN-SQUEAL:

**Hakkai-** Brother, which one do you think it is?

**Sanzo-** Uh… I'd have to say D…

**Hakkai-** Thanks! I'll see you at home!

**Sanzo-** Yeah, whatever. :sits down again:

**Gojyo-** See you tonight, Sanzo! And don't be late this time!

**Sanzo-** Yes Gojyo-s-s-s-sama…

**Hakkai-** I guess I'll go with D because he said so.

**Gojyo-** That's correct! And now, for $1,000,000: What is under Itsuji's desk?

**Itsuji-** :laughing: This should be good!

**Gojyo-** Is it

A: A Gojyo-sama Clone

B: A soda can with eyes and hair glued on it named Sanzo

C: Her bedroom, mirror included

D: Assassins from Houto Castle or

E: All except for A.

**Hakkai-** OH! Another hard one? I thought you liked me, Gojyo-sama… :puts hand on Gojyo's knee and makes a sexy-shy pose:

**Gojyo-** I don't write them, Beautiful, I just read them.

**Hakkai-** I'll have to use another life-line. I'll call my little brother Goku back at our house.

**Gojyo-** Alright. Goku, you there?

**Goku-** Uh-huh! Don't bother repeating the question, I'm watchin' you guys right now! I'm gonna say E because I didn't know that the alphabet went that high! OMG! MY PORK RIBS:hangs up:

**Hakkai-** I'll say E, too. It's nice and easy, and I won't have to think about it.

**Gojyo-** You sure? Really, really sure?

**Hakkai-** Uh-huh!

**Gojyo-** Well, I-I'm sorry… but it seems like YOU WON!

**Hakkai-** I WON!!! YAY!!!

**Gojyo-** :pretends to make-out with Hakkai to celebrate:

**Itsuji-** BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! 10,000,000 points for all of you for actually going along with that. And 6,000,000 brownie points to Gojyo and Hakkai for pretending to making-out on stage.

**Gojyo+Hakkai-** Who said we were pretending?

**Itsuji-** Mr. Censor did!

**Goku-** Hey, what's really under your desk?

**Itsuji-** Everything Gojyo said except the clone and the assassins. See! Sanzo Jr.:pulls out the soda can: Now we'll move onto Scenes from a Hat! This game's for everyone. What happens is before the show, we asked the audience members to write down suggestions they'd like to see our cast perform. We take the good ones and put them in this hat :pulls out a pink, fluffy pimp hat: and we make the four of them act it out starting with: How Gojyo REALLY met Hakkai.

**Hakkai-** :walks out and lays on ground:

**Gojyo-** :pretends to trip over him:

**Itsuji-** BUZZ!

**Goku-** :goes out and stands center stage, back to audience:

**Sanzo-** :walks over to him: Hey, what's your name?

**Goku-** I'm Hakkai. And you are?

**Sanzo-** I'm Gojyo. How would you like to come back to my place for some Chinese "food"?

**Goku-** Sure:takes Sanzo's arm and walks off stage:

**Itsuji-** BUZZ:laughing: Next! What would the Konzeon Bosatsu say if she saw this show making fun of her?

**Sanzo-** :walks out: Hey, Jiroushin? Am I really that bitchy?

**Itsuji-** :laughing: BUZZ!

**Goku-** :walks out: Oh… She's going down… JIROUSHIN! HURRY UP AND GET ME MY BAZOOKA!

**Itsuji-** :laughing harder: BUZZ!

**Hakkai-** :walks out and pretends to look at self in mirror: Am I really that fat?

**Itsuji-** :falling out of chair from laughing so hard: BUZZ!

**Gojyo-** :walks out: Damn, that Gojyo is so fucking hot! Look at his abs:sticks hand in pants and makes a small tent between legs then looks down surprised: Aw, fuck… :staggers off:

**Itsuji**- :has fallen out of chair by this point and is having trouble getting back up:

**Sanzo-** :hits buzzer for Itsuji: BUZZ:pulls out the next card for her: What is Goku thinking right now?

**Hakkai-** :walks out: Hareheta!

**Itsuji-** :calming down a little: BUZZ!

**Gojyo-** :walks out, says nothing, then walks back:

**Itsuji-** HAHAHA!!! BUZZ!

**Sanzo-** :walks out: Damn, Sanzo's hot… I wonder just how hot he would be on my tongue… I wonder what he tastes like…

**Itsuji-** :laughing so hard I'm crying: BUZZ!

**Goku-** :walks out: Wow, except for Gojyo, they were right!

**Itsuji-** :dieing from laughter: BUZZ! N-Next: If Hakkai could have a theme song from a different anime, what would it be?

**Goku-** :walks out: I want to change the world—

**Itsuji-** BUZZ!

**Gojyo-** :walks out: KISS, KISS, FALL IN LOVE—!

**Itsuji-** BUZZ!

**Sanzo-** :walks out: Let's get started! Ready, Steady, GO—!

**Itsuji-** BUZZ!

**Hakkai-** :walks out: Within the broken mirror, I clearly see your reflection—

**Itsuji-** BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZZ! It's like you guys were waiting for me to pull that last one. So Hakkai could be in Inu-Yasha, Ouran Koukou Host Club, Full Metal Alchemist, and Yu-Yu Hakusho? He's multitalented! Heheheheh… 1,000 points for all of you! Now! We're going to move onto a game called Whose Line! What's going to happen is Sanzo, acting as Tamaki from Ouran Koukou Host Club (how ironic), is finally going to ask Haruhi, played by Goku, to marry him, but she was already asked by Hikaru. Take it away whenever you're ready!

**Sanzo-** Haruhi! There's something I've got to ask you! I've been thinking about this for a long time now.

**Goku-** What is it, Tamaki-senpai?

**Sanzo-** It's a little hard for me to say but… :gets down on one knee and holds up imaginary ring: Will you marry me?

**Goku-** Oh, Tamaki! This is all so sudden! But Hikaru already asked me and I said:pulls out slip of paper: GIVE ME MONKEY MEAT OR GIVE ME SQUID!

**Sanzo-** Squid? What about Giant Tuna? Anyway, did you decline? If not, then I have to say. :pulls out slip of paper: A COW'S EATING YOUR MUFFIN!

**Goku-** My muffin!? And yes, Tamaki, I did decline because I love you and :pulls out paper: I am a banana.

**Sanzo-** Banana!? I thought… Oh, nevermind. Will you marry me?

**Goku-** Of course, Tamaki. Why wouldn't I?

**Sanzo-** I don't know but then again, I don't know much. But what I do know is :pulls our paper: PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOCONOSIS!

**Itsuji-** BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZZ! We'll be right back with Whose Line is it Anyway? right after this, so don't go away!

* * *

K-chan- VERY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE! I LOVE HER! I LOVE YOU, K-CHAN!

Hareheta- Japanese for "I'm hungry"

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconosis- the disease you get from inhaling volcanic ash. It's a real word guys. Deal with it.

PLEASE R+R! YOU COULD SAVE A LIFE!


	4. The Next Set of Commercials YAY!

I hate writing commercials! But you liked my last ones so here are some more... Sigh... The things I do for love!

* * *

**Goku-** I've been riding this old bike for way too long! I need something cooler to ride!

**Hakkai-** Well then, Sir, do I have the item for you!

**Goku-** Really?

**Hakkai-** May I introduce you to: JEEP:steps aside to reveal a jeep:

**Goku-** WOW! How much is that!?

**Hakkai-** It's only 860 yen!

**Goku-** Why so cheap? Is there something wrong with it?

**Hakkai-** Absolutely not! It's so cheap because we're having a car sale and this is our last one so it's at a special low, low price!

**Goku-** I'll take it:pays: Thank you, Magic-Car-Salesman!

**Hakkai-** Don't thank me! Thank corny television!

* * *

:dark screen then Sanzo walks up:

**Sanzo-** Hello. There is a new disease circulating out there… A dangerous and sometimes deadly disease. It's called: Boredom. Many people are dying from this disease. I, myself, am suffering. :walks over to Goku who was just off screen: Just ask this gentleman.

**Goku-** I… I was sitting… And flipping through channels on-on the T.V… And there w-was nothing to watch and-and-and-and… I WAS BORED:bursts into tears and runs off screen:

**Sanzo-** There you have it, folks. First hand. A horrible case of boredom.

**Hakkai-** :comforting Goku: But you can help give the bored people hope.

**Gojyo-** All you have to do is call our hotline, 1-800-SAI-YUKI, and leave your name number, age, sexuality, sexual orientation, how much of yourself you're willing to contribute, and where to reach you—

**Sanzo-** And you may just help people like Goku get a better, more exciting life.

* * *

There you go! I'll try to have the next two chapters up next weekend! I'm really trying guys! I've just been really busy! Please just bear with me!

PLEASE R+R! YOU COULD SAVE A LIFE!


End file.
